Nighttime Personalities Take Aim At Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Program

TV's prominent comedians used their evening mocking former President Donald Trump's just launched immigration program, called the "Trump card," characterizing it as a obvious cash-for-residency scheme for the rich.

Colbert's Pointed Take

Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... spoils each thing he touches."

Colbert's target was the new initiative which permits overseas nationals to buy U.S. residence for a sum of a million dollars, or "premium" version for 5 million. An official page promises approval "in record time."

"A quick message for you to wealthy immigrants: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He explained that the program is also intended to "get cash" from firms wanting to hire skilled workers, involving significant costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choosing – provided that it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"Unprecedented screening the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals completely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Commentary

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will permit rich foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"Maybe it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the application, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping poll ratings during financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a bid to tackle cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a display of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by criticizing conservative media coverage of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.